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Do you trust yourself? Building personal mastery

29th August 2018

Trust, building personal mastery

I’ve been working recently with a senior team embarking on a transformation project. The purpose of the assignment was to revisit how they work as a team and the culture they want to create moving forward.

The model I introduced was Lencioni’s 5 dysfunctions of a team and we spent a significant amount of time talking about trust (the absence of trust being dysfunction #1). Lencioni describes this as the willingness to be vulnerable with each other.

Reflecting on this, and similar workshops I’ve run in the past, it struck me that the step before this is to consider to what degree do you trust yourself. This has to be the start of any work to do with teams or leadership.

Playing safe vs. being courageous

We are all aware of the speed at which the world is changing and the sense of overwhelm that this can create within us. No longer can we predict what is going to happen or know for certain what the outcome or solution will be. So how does this affect how you show up as a leader?

Do you protect yourself, play small and keep your head down to ensure you’re not failing or making mistakes – playing safe? Or, do you take each moment as it comes being comfortable with not knowing, knowing that you will make some mistakes and even make some bad decisions?

As a leader you set the tone for your team and the more aware you are of who you are, the more consciously you can set the right tone, show up and be present.

So how can you learn to trust yourself more?

Banish self-doubt and comparisons!

We live in a world of never enough. Brene Brown in her research on shame and vulnerability found that people constantly assess and compare elements of their lives.

This often triggers thoughts in our head that prevent us from taking action, for example:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m not successful enough
  • I’m not thin enough
  • I’m not fit enough
  • I’m not certain enough
  • I’m not safe enough
  • I’m not perfect enough

These thoughts are triggered by fear, fear of being left out, fear of being out of control, feeling unappreciated, misunderstood, not recognised…

AND they don’t help! They only fuel self-doubt.

Trust yourself – being courageous and stepping into your power

There is a way to change this and it’s about shifting your mindset.

The moment you feel your self-doubt starting to surface – STOP! Press the pause button and take a step back. Focus on what is actually happening externally. Get curious. See things for what they are.

  • What might you be fearful or uncertain about?
  • What situations have you faced in the past and overcome?
  • What strengths do you have that you can utilise in this situation?
  • Who may be able to help you?
  • Are you clear about the direction you’re heading, even without all the information?
  • Have you provided enough information to engage people?
  • Have you congruently asked for what you want?
  • What assumptions are you making?
  • Start a dialogue.
  • Seek feedback and create an environment that makes it easy for others to do this.

This isn’t an exhaustive list, simply some ideas to get you started that I hope you find helpful.

Leadership is always work in progress and we can always learn from each other and if you would like to explore this further feel free to email me.

To your success!

“What we know matters but who we are matters more”

Brené Brown 

 

 

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