Be yourself because everyone else is already taken.’

Oscar Wilde

Are you being true to yourself?

Are you comfortable in your own skin?

If not, whose life are you living?

It’s easy to go through life comparing yourself to other people, wishing you could be like Joe or Flo’ or criticising yourself for the way do things, or look. However, it’s not helpful.

It tends to put you in a negative loop with a focus on others rather than on yourself.

One of my fundamental beliefs is that you cannot lead and develop others until you first learn to lead and develop your self. To do this you need to get to know yourself and understand who you are so you can play to your strengths and embrace your limitations. The more you do this the more authentic you will be and it will ooze out of you!

This is easier said than done. We are all human and none of us are perfect, so being able to recognise strengths and limitations can take time and a degree of humility.

It is worth it in the long run. You’ll feel stronger and others will recognise your inner confidence.

People with a strong sense of who they are tend to be:

• More self aware and confident about who they really are
• Able to access a reservoir of core energy that keeps them going
• Able to connect at a deeper level through being more authentic and aligned in their lives.
• More resilient and able to handle complexity

What does being authentic mean?

Being authentic is about being true to who you are – ‘warts and all’. It’s about being genuine, real, trustworthy and reliable, not false or a copy.

One test of being authentic and true to yourself is ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you prepared to make a stand for what you care for?
• Do you say no to things that you really don’t want to do – even if that means you’ll disappoint someone?
• Is there any part of your life where you feel you are living a lie?

If you’re sitting there thinking ‘maybe I’m not being as authentic as I thought I was’… read on to discover why it matters as a leader.

It’s easier to be authentic than pretend to be someone else

When you truly know who you are you are clear about your values. We all have values and we are, in the main, unaware of them yet they are the criteria that help us make decisions. When you know what they are you can express them and explain your decision-making process. You’ll build consistency and credibility.

If you try to copy someone else nine times out of ten it won’t feel right and you’ll be copying the behaviour you see rather than what drives that person. It’s your values and internal motivations that drive your behaviour.

Pretending to be someone you are not can be exhausting as it’s not natural and sooner or later you’ll make a mistake and revert to your normal.

People will engage with you more readily

I’m sure you have been with someone and thought, ‘not sure I believe what they are telling me’, or ‘there is something about them that just doesn’t feel right’. The chances are they are not being authentic.

When you are authentic what you say and how you say it is congruent. Your words, voice tone and physiology are aligned and ‘say’ the same thing. Those around you read this unconsciously. When you are an authentic leader (genuine) people know this and it builds trust. You’ll gain the followers you want!

You’ll deepen your self-awareness – the foundation to personal mastery

I have already said one of my fundamental beliefs is that you cannot lead and develop others until you first learn to lead and develop your self.

Embarking and facing into who you are can be scary. Occasionally you may not like what you see in the mirror. That’s often because you start by looking at what ‘is wrong’ or what you don’t like. If you find yourself doing this STOP! Start by looking at all the things you like and all the things you are good at. Then, and only then, look at what is less ‘loved’ and consider how you may use that as an asset or manage it more appropriately.
The path to being the best you can be guides you to being more aware of your beliefs, attitudes and behaviour. It enables you to accept yourself and be responsible for your action, attitude, thought and the impact you have.

This will make you a better leader who inspires others to grow and your improvement will influence others and eventually change the world!

Wherever you are on your leadership journey there is always something to learn as you face new situations. ALWAYS BE YOURSELF!

“The core leadership strategy is simple: be a model. Commit yourself to your own personal mastery.”

Peter Senge