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Entries from January 2018

One of the most under used influencing strategies by leaders

25th January 2018

Influencing Strategies

As a leader one of your main jobs is to influence others and engage them to deliver on the business strategy.

The mistake many people make is they believe this means they have to be on transmit mode most of the time, telling people the direction to go in, setting the goal and time line and explaining their position. If questions are asked it’s usually to gather information to support where you want to go or to find out the blockages that are getting in the way.

If you are on the receiving ended of this it can sometimes feel as though you are being pushed down a road. It may even feel like an interrogation, forceful and occasionally intimidating…

Be an explorer not an interrogator

So what is this underused influencing strategy that will make the difference?

It’s listening!

By this I don’t mean listening so that you can find the right place to speak and share your views. I mean listening with a real curiosity. Listening to explore the other person’s agenda. What do they really think? What direction do they want to go in? What’s the tone and energy behind what they are saying?

Be open and prepared to explore what they are saying so that you really understand where they are coming from. If you are open to others they tend to be open with you.

Listening is a great influencing strategy

 Listening means you have to be on receive mode. Absorbing what the other person is saying and putting aside your own personal needs.

How is this an influencing strategy I hear you ask? Before I answer that let me ask you a question. Have you ever been really listened to? If you have then you will know that you feel safe, that the other person is really engaged. You just get a sense that they are with you and not distracted by what’s going on around them or what might be coming up next.

My guess is you also shared more and there was a degree of trust built. Listening builds trust, particularly if all you are interested in is their agenda not yours.

A core part of influencing is about building relationships. That’s why this is an influencing strategy, because it greatly helps build relationships. Influence comes from interaction.

Extend your range

We are often blind to how we come across and finding out how you affect others is part of your growth. Have someone reflect back how you are showing up. Use someone you know will give you quality feedback. Ask them for feedback on these areas:

  • Eye contact. Were you looking at the person you were listening to?
  • Being fully present. Did you remain interested? Did the other person feel you were engaged?
  • Asking questions for clarity.
  • Open body language.
  • Voice tone. Did it match the other person?

If you want to influence others show they have influenced you. Share how your position or perception has changed and how you’ll adjust your proposal.

If you know you could improve your impact and influence email me to set up a free discovery call to explore how I may be able to support you in your growth.

“The best way to persuade people is with your ears — by listening to them.” 

Dean Rusk



Personal Impact – What’s it like to be on the receiving end of you?

11th January 2018

Personal Impact


What is it like to be on the receiving end of you?

Have you ever asked yourself this question?

As a leader you are on show all of the time and one of your key roles is to take people with you. To do this you need to employ a variety of influencing skills using both push and pull techniques. It’s an art form and takes lots of practice to master.

The mistake that most people make is to focus on the outcome – what they want, with very little consideration of where the other person is and what they might want. The last thing you think about is how do I need to show up!

You are judged by the impact you have on others, what you say, how you say it, what you do and how you act.

Be honest with yourself. How often do you consider the impact you want to have with someone, and when I say consider I mean really stop and ask yourself this question as part of your preparation strategy?

Always, sometimes or never?

I know I don’t always ask myself this question, however I know there are certain circumstances when I always do; for example when meeting a client for the first time, running a workshop and preparing for coaching sessions.

What occasions do you consider the impact you want to have and how can you do more of this?

So how do others experience you?

To be an effective leader your actions have got to match your intentions.

If you are thinking one thing and saying another people pick up on this. When was the last time you asked for feedback about the impact you have, your communication style and how you interact with others?

Without feedback you will never know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of you and the recipients experience.

Leadership is about connection, so you need to be sure you connect and engage   with everyone you meet.

You have to take the other person into consideration. So when you’re thinking about your intention for a one to one meeting think about these four things:

  • What is your current relationship with them?
  • What history is there between you (or their department)?
  • How do you want this relationship to develop?
  • Knowing this, how do I need to BE in this conversation?

Give some thought to the energy you want to transmit, your posture, your voice tone and your language.

Leaders who create the ‘right’ impact create a following. They are the ones who create an engaged workforce to get results.

My free mini coaching series will give you some ideas on what to do and provide some exercises to practice. You’ll find more information here.

“Do all that you can, with all that you have, in the time that you have, in the place where you are.”

Nkosi Johnson




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