As we come to the end of January many of you will have forgotten your New Year resolution, fallen ‘off the wagon’ and given up, or not bothered to consider the start of the New Year in any way. After all it’s just another day/year not a major transition…
I’m not sure where the ritual for marking the start of a New Year originated but I like to think of it as marking a transition. To consciously consider how last year went and what I want from the year ahead.
In our life we go through many transitions; moving home, leaving school and college, starting a new job, getting a new boss, getting married, getting divorced, having a baby, children leaving home etc. This list could go on ad infinitum as we consider smaller changes we face such as introducing a new system or process at work, getting promoted or moving office. My point is we may make these choices consciously but we often fail to mark the transition by considering what we may need to leave behind, how we may need to be different in the new scenario or taking any learning from the past.
These changes can be quite scary. We don’t really know what lies ahead. We may have ideas of how we’d like it to be but we are rarely in full control of how things may pan out. Our well-practiced ways of operating show up and we could find that ‘things don’t change’.
Constant Change
We live in a world where things are changing all of the time and we can easily get caught up in keeping up and feeling out of control. This is normal, and it doesn’t have to be that way. You can slow down or even stop for a whileas you gather yourself and your thoughts together before moving on.
With any change there is a ‘way it was’ and there is a ‘way it will be’. In the middle is uncertainty. Brenda Reynolds has a great TED talk about Navigating Transition Fog and suggests you approach these situations as you would if you were driving in fog:
- Slow down
- Put on the lights so you can see just enough ahead to keep moving
- Pull over and rest – wait for the fog to clear
All of these put youback in control of you. You can then move forward purposefully.
For me, going through any transition is an opportunity to press the pause button.
Recalibrate
Taking a moment (or longer depending on the circumstances) to slow down or stop gives you the opportunity to reflect. In this moment consider these three questions:
- What strengths do I need to carry forward?
- Do I need to leave anything behind either temporarily or forever and how do I honour this?
- What are my expectations and how do I need to show up differently?
It may well be that you need some help and support as you move forward. Most of us do and are afraid to ask. We are increasingly facing situations where what used to work in the past will not work now.
We all need support. Be willing to ask for help and also offer support to others.
“We can’t chart a new course until we find out where we are, how we came to that point and where we want to go.”
Brene Brown
